These roles extended into the bedroom, where the butch would initiate and give sexual pleasure and the femme would play “pillow princess” and receive — never the other way around …

Similarly, whereas pillow princesses and other femmes appear to fall in line with heterosexual conceptualizations of sexual roles for women, where the woman’s role is the passive and non-assertive partner, they represent radical departures in other respects. In particular, participants indicated that ultra femmes and pillow princesses fully expected that the sexual act ended with their sexual climax.

Also, just because a respondent identified as femme did not mean she was not involved in or interested in a reciprocal sexual relationship. Many femmes made sure to point out they were not “pillow princesses,” meaning they are not just receivers. “My current girlfriend is very masculine looking, but I am far more aggressive than her in the bedroom, I don’t know if I can say this …but, well, I am no “pillow princess” (Sara).

A soft fem may also be referred to as a “pillow princess”. The pillow princess expects to be catered to in bed and while she may demand oral sex, does not feel compelled to perform it on her partner.

Pillow princess

Meaning

Noun

Antonyms