"What you're really talking about is the concept of postponed gratification," Dr. New says. "Freud said that one of the major ways to look at development is the task of the individual to subordinate the pleasure principle to the reality principle and that is a slow process."

A flaky mom, restless with unrealized dreams. A wise child, stubbornly asserting the reality principle. . . . It is one of feminism's Ur-legends, the stuff of countless contemporary novels and films.

At first, we're likely to warm to Dean's exuberance and take against the apparently entrenched sourness of Cindy, who seems a slave to the reality principle; yet she is the only one of the pair who's remotely facing up to life's routine demands.

Reality principle

Meaning

Noun